In March this year, I shared a post on my social media pages about the first lockdown and how it felt to take the unexpected leap to online teaching. Choosing to write about what happened felt like a way to take stock and also be open about the uncertainties I felt as a teacher at that time.
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You must stay at home.
These words turned the lives of the majority of us upside down first time in March last year. Almost overnight, things that used to be guaranteed became something else.
Today a year ago, I taught my first online class. A twice-a-week group was established to offer a breathing space in the drastically changed reality.
Mindfulness is a way to find peace, even when things are not peaceful, so it was very logical to offer meditation in this situation.
At the same time, I was trying to understand what this all meant in my personal life. My fear, despair and worry were lashing over me, and I doubted my capabilities.
I am not a “big name” teacher.
Was I good enough?
Why would people come to me?
Would it help them?
What if I would let them down somehow?
What if it became too much for me?
In that uncertainty, these thoughts were very real. And still, all along, I knew I was going to do it anyway.
I’m not sharing this because I want to underline what I have done. I want to share with you that I was terrified. Finding refuge in meditation became more important to me than ever.
So from March 23, 2020, my circle of chairs moved online. (And as you can see from the second picture, I started without a desk!)
Setting up the class in Locks Heath January 2020.
I wonder how many people didn’t have a dedicated desk when they started working from home!
A year later, we are still practising together online every week. More people have joined, some have moved on – an understandable and natural cycle of things.
People WILL find ways to connect. I have witnessed numerous moments of connection, understanding and compassion through the screen. Sitting together without trying to fix, being listened to and sharing something from the heart. I’m sure in many groups, people’s lives have crossed in a way that would never otherwise happen due to distance.
In my opinion, choosing to gather online is not about replacing physical contact or which one is better. What makes a difference is ℎ𝑜𝑤 we connect. We can feel belonging and disconnection in both spaces.
At the moment, I feel the vulnerability and tenderness of that moment when I was standing in our kitchen a year ago. And I feel grateful and hopeful. Keep on connecting 💛
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Change can be so scary but I have learned so much through this. I feel readier than ever to continue what I do: guide people to access peace and meaningful, long-lasting wellbeing through mindfulness. Moving online I have been able to support people more widely than before and make an impact through a range of classes. Therefore my groups and classes continue to be here for you online - You are welcome any time by contacting me.
With warmth,
Elisa